When we have suffered a significant loss or are facing imminent loss with no hope of change or recovery how do we stay hopeful?
A standard definition of hope is ‘to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence’. Our hope is normally tied in with a particular outcome such as healing or someone responding to a request in a certain way. When what we had hoped for is no longer possible or simply went a different direction it’s easy to go to a place of hopelessness and the truth is when someone dies for instance, it is hopeless to want them to live on in their bodies.
So how do I deal with these feelings of hopelessness when all hope is gone? The very first thing I have found is that I need to embrace the hopelessness, move toward it with compassion and understanding rather than trying to get rid of it or ignore it or cover it up. If I don’t address it first, I find that no amount of positive thinking or trying to change my mind seems to work. When I first breathe into it, acknowledging the feeling rather than fighting it, then I can take the next step of noticing the thoughts that created the hopelessness in the first place. The thoughts are usually some kind of attachment to a specific outcome I had been hoping for that did not come to pass, even if I hadn’t exactly articulated the thought but had it running in the background. When I have brought peace and acceptance to what I have been feeling and thinking then I can take the next step of opening up to other possibilities.
This is where hope comes in, not for a specific outcome but rather based on a belief in the endless possibilities that exist in any given moment. When stop staring at what I didn’t get or what I am disappointed about then I look up (metaphorically) and envision the night sky filled with countless stars. I may not have gotten what I thought I wanted but there are so many other possibilities when I open my eyes and my heart to Life! I am willing to see beyond the disappointment with hope and faith and love to receive what my heart truly desires which is an experience, not a thing.
There is so much to be hopeful about even in the midst of the most hopeless situation; it’s up to us to look up and see.
Namaste,
Yvonne
