Some days I just want to go to sleep. Especially when I’ve had a rather sleepless night. It’s hard to get enthusiastic about anything, including writing a blog. Ok, having said that let’s see what wants to be expressed today…
Guilt, I seem to want to write about guilt. I’ve been thinking about it a lot today because of something I was reading where I was reminded how guilt is behind many of our health issues. Well, I can sure identify with that one. I think I was born feeling guilty and I’ve ‘studied’ it extensively over the years. I remember going to pastoral counseling when I was living in Calgary. The counsellor happened to be an Irish Catholic priest, a very cool guy actually, and one of the first things he says to me after I’ve talked for a while is ‘Ah, good old Catholic guilt.’ I laughed and agreed, and I also know it isn’t exclusive to Catholics by any stretch of the imagination.
I’ve done a lot of work around guilt over the years, and I still have lots of it to let go of . I became very adept at ignoring the discomfort or pushing my way through it very early on and that old pattern still surfaces now and again (more often than I care to admit actually). Even when I recognize the guilt there is a tendency to want to get around it rather than feel it completely and let it go in surrender to Love. The same is true of shame. Both are tricky little characters that are good at disguising themselves as well as having a quality like rubber, you just keep bouncing off the feelings and going into your head.
Well now, I know that doesn’t work and I’m grateful that I have the ability to let go and surrender but I also know that it is so pervasive for me that I often miss the opportunity. Ah well, no matter, it’s never too late and I am a very determined person. I persist in letting go and I am grateful for every breakthrough. I also have noticed that all the work does make a difference because it certainly doesn’t have the power over me it used to have.
Namaste
