I am re-immersing myself in the course work for my spiritual director training as our winter session begins tonight. Not that I actually left the work as I have continued to read the books from the first classes in between sessions. I love them all even if they are basically saying the same things in many different ways.
I’m truly grateful for this variety since I sometimes need to hear, see, feel ideas and teachings from different perspectives and let it all brew inside me before they finally settle in. It reminds me of the Hasidic story of a rabbi who always told his people that if they studied the Torah, it would put Scripture on their hearts. One of them asked, “Why on our hearts, and not in them?” The rabbi answered, “Only God can put Scripture inside. But reading sacred text can put it on your heart, and then when your hearts break, the holy words will fall inside.”
There’s something about that story that really speaks to me. In my great haste throughout my life, I have not always allowed time and space for this process. No wonder my heart needs to break regularly it seems. I’m good with that as I have received the greatest gifts of the spirit from those times when I felt the most lost, hurt, alone, disillusioned and broken. There is something deeply humbling about the low points in life that allows Grace to penetrate my defenses which doesn’t happen as readily when I’m feeling all strong and confident. There is a time for every purpose…
Right now, my purpose seems to be to keep going deeper, keep inquiring, keep letting go so that the True Self can fully emerge. I can’t think of anything I would rather be doing.
Namaste
