I’ve immersed myself in the Enneagram the past few weeks after years of resisting. For those who don’t know what that is here’s one definition from integrative9.com:
“The Enneagram is an archetypal framework that offers in-depth insight to individuals, groups and collectives. Consisting of three Centers of intelligence, nine main Enneagram types, 18 wings, three subtypes and Triadic styles, the Enneagram offers a rich map to personal development from an open systems perspective. It does not box in people, but rather opens a pathway to self-discovery and greater personal awareness.”
I’ve done some personality typing like the Myers Briggs, leadership styles, what’s your colour and such so I didn’t think the enneagram would have a lot more to offer but I was wrong (gee that happens a lot).
I’ve only read one of the books on it so far and I’ve already found myself dealing with all kinds of shadow stuff that I had not dealt with in my almost 35 years of personal/spiritual development work. But then, I guess that’s the nature of the shadow, it’s full of surprises to me but probably not so much to anyone who knows me, that’s why it’s called the shadow. The enneagram really helps in uncovering more and more of those suppressed and repressed parts of ourselves that need to be integrated so that they don’t sabotage us.
This inner work is really an endless project which is both the good news and the bad news. If ever we start thinking we’ve arrived, we know all there is to know about our inner workings, up pops another piece of the puzzle. Sometimes it’s very similar to other things we’ve realized and other times it seems new but either way it can kind of throw us off for a while.
Recently I’ve been working with integrating the suppressed anger that I had become so adept at suppressing I didn’t even know it was there. I have had a lifetime of practice so I’m pretty good at shoving it down before I can even recognize it as what it is.
Another piece that came up this week is my addiction to specialness. Not a new one for me but I realized that I have not been working so much on integrating it all these years but rather unconsciously trying to get rid of it (that never works by the way). As I let myself really get to the heart of it, I recognized it as my ‘Trump’ persona. That may seem kind of excessive but sometimes that’s what it takes to get to the core. All of a sudden, I could see how he is an example of an extreme version of the ego who refuses to let go of the illusion of power and control, that wants to be in charge even though the rest of me wants it to surrender. The radical independent who decided it needed to take charge in order to be safe in the world. Yeowzer! It may not have the same kind of power it once had in my life, but I could see why it was so difficult to really bring it home so to speak. I realized I of myself could not do it, I need help from the Divine for this one.
It’s all still in process of course but there is a peace that has settled in as I set the intentions and remain open to the workings of Spirit.
Namaste
