Couldn’t get to sleep last night, found myself in total resistance to not being able to go to sleep, LOL. That’s the way it seems to go, I get insight into something then I get to experience it in real time. I did have to laugh about it even as it was going on. It isn’t easy feeling and letting go when I’m laying down. I have to sit for some reason. Either way, it’s all part of being alive. Just realizing how much resistance I have doesn’t automatically mean I won’t have it anymore but it sure does put it in stark relief so I can’t miss it and I can do something about it (most of the time).
Ah, this being human isn’t for the faint of heart, is it? We do what we say we don’t want, and we don’t do what we say we want, and we wonder why things are as they are. No point resisting that either. I have to say that’s probably one of the greatest challenges of this journey, truly accepting my humanity as well as my divinity. There’s resistance to both! We are such funny creatures…
I do have to say how grateful I am that I can laugh at myself. I’d be in big trouble otherwise. Laugh and persist; that’s the best way I can think of to deal with myself. I used to give up so easily when things didn’t work the way I thought they should in 5 seconds or less. Thank goodness of being older and at least somewhat wiser. I have much more patience with myself, and I know that if I persist no matter how often I forget or fall into old patterns, things change. I’ve had it happen too often to think otherwise.
It’s like the delicate plant growing through the cracks in the concrete. Life always finds a way.
Namaste
