It has been a full and rich couple of days for me. Connecting and celebrating with friends yesterday and lots of reflection today, especially in this morning’s journaling.
I made a commitment to myself a few weeks ago to live as wholeheartedly as possible. Of course, that kind of commitment always takes me to unexpected place as my soul presents me with what I need to know in order to clear the way.
So, the business about self-image came up and this feeling that I just want to burst out of some kind of self-imposed confinement. My first thought, as usual, was that there is a ‘negative’ aspect of my shadow that needs to emerge and be embraced and that is of course true, but this morning something that tends to hide behind the shadow made an appearance in my journaling and all because of one little piece of missing tin that needs to be installed in order to complete our new roof. It brought me into the awareness of my tendency to always look for what’s missing, what’s not quite right and to focus on that (that isn’t exactly news). What I’m actually projecting however, is how I see myself and project it in every direction. This tendency to see what isn’t ‘perfect’ is me not feeling as whole and complete as I would like to think I do.
Now the thing I’ve really been most unaware of in myself has been what you might call innate goodness. I don’t even like using the word good, now I see why. In this quest for being ‘perfect’ (whatever that means) that’s the piece that never gets acknowledged somehow. It’s a strange little quirk that I suspect has a powerful impact. I’ve always thought of myself as somehow ‘bad’. I’ve done a lot of work on dispelling that illusion but somehow have been stopping short of embrace the innate goodness that is an aspect of every person’s true self.
Sheesh, you’d think I’d have figured that one out before now but, as they say, it’s never too late and I am truly grateful for the insight and the willingness to let it be.
Namaste
