The final day of July and my final post on the Rites of Initiation/Passage.
Principle Five
You are going to die.
Well of course I am… Again, this would seem such an obvious thing yet there is a part of us, especially when we are younger, that doesn’t get it, just can’t comprehend what that might mean or that it could conceivably happen to me.
This pandemic has been quite an initiation for many about the topic of dying yet I know that if we haven’t been directly touched by it, we can still be in a strange kind of denial. Our culture values living as long as we possibly can whatever the cost or quality of life. I’m going to be honest; I don’t get it.
I love life and I am very grateful for every day, even the tough ones like when I had the symptoms of COVID. But the way I figure it, when it’s my time it’s my time. My mother and her mother were actually pretty powerful examples of letting go when it was time to let go. Not a lot of fanfare or struggle even though health had not been so great for some time, especially for my mother. They both died quietly one in her sleep and the other sitting in her chair in her room. Mom was almost 89 and Grandma was 93.
I remember when I was a teenager and in my 20’s being deathly afraid of death (pardon the pun). I was not what you might call a good girl by anyone’s description, and I had been raised RC, so the threat of eternal punishment was buried somewhere deep inside the subconscious even though I had rejected all things religious. Some things are a bit harder to shake off than others. It took some conscious study and consideration for me to get past that fear and start entertaining other ideas such as reincarnation and that there was no such thing as hell, at least not the kind I grew up with. I often wonder if some of the fear a lot of older people have about death isn’t related to what they were taught in their religions and, let’s face it, who among us is without ‘sin’. I think those notions of eternal life in either heaven or hell were developed more to scare us into submission that anything Jesus taught, but that’s just my opinion.
The bottom line for me at this point in my life is that I am one hell (had to do it) of a lot closer to death than I am to birth, and I really don’t know what comes next though I do not believe it is bad or punishing, that kind of God died for me a long time ago. I am happy to live, emphasis on the word live, with the mystery of what comes next. I have enough to just be present in the present and live the best life I can while I can. What comes after death will look after itself. I can say that because I also believe that the Love that created us never left us, nor will we be separated from It when these bodies are long gone.
So, yes, I am going to die but why worry? Why hang around after my journey in time is done? Whatever awaits me will come for me anyway.
Namaste